Don’t cha just hate it when you wanna jump on the bandwagon, up your level of cred and start a blog, something witty, something clever, but cannot do so at the risk of coming across as a self-centered, self-obsessed, self-involved asshole?
It’s cruel really. Your head is brimming to burst with brilliant ideas, just ripe to be plucked from that fleshy cranium of yours and let loose in the big, bad world of cyberspace. But alas, these brilliant, witty, sure to inspire, evoke and entertain gems must remain under lock and key, for fear of your friends, family, colleagues, anyone really reading it and thinking, ‘What a complete and utter douche.’ Or worse yet, ‘What a complete and utter boring douche who just wasted five minutes of my time by reading that bullshit she is trying to pass off as intelligence.’
So you do it anyway. ‘What the hell’, you think, ‘everyone else is doing it. Why can’t I be part of this insanely hip circle of bloggers?’ So you start a blog. You spend hours perfecting the layout, choosing a picture of yourself that makes you look thinner, smarter and more attractive than God really made you. Your first post is ready to go, typed and spellchecked. You go to click Submit first post. Your hand pauses over the mouse, the little white arrow still in cyber space. You go against your better judgement and click Submit. No turning back now, your stomach lurches and you re-read what you just posted and decide it is utter bullshit no one will bother reading and so now you will look like a douche.
You become obsessive. Checking your blog every few hours, in the hope you have your first follower. (You don’t have any). So you check again, allowing the time difference for those across the other side of the world to discover your work of genius and decide it is the best blog they have ever read. (You still don’t).
Days later, and with a total of three followers (one of whom is your mum, and the other yourself on a made up account) you decide that blogs are not for you.
Twitter anyone?
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